It’s All Good

i swear, i’m not doing this on purpose… this long space between posts.  honestly, i just haven’t had much to say.   there’s a pretty big event going on for work this evening that i’ll look forward to blogging about soon.

and… i’ve met someone!  i decided not to blog about her just yet, if at all.  but… one of my long-ago exes, now close associate, posted this on her fb page today:

Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to always be there. Because you can’t remember a time in your life when it wasn’t, but then one day you feel something else. Something that feels wrong, only because its so unfamiliar. Then in that moment you realize you’re happy…. (sn: she’s notorious for posting things written by others without giving credit so i doubt she wrote this, but have no idea who did.)

and my pastor said a similar thing sunday.  i think it’s true. 

i decided i’m going to allow myself to be happy.  without analysis, without fear and without announcement.  but with lots and lots of excitement.  quiet, nervous, giddy excitement.

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Not All Fun and Games

Image via Wikipedia

first up, breaking news and such…

yay for gays!!  looks like we are making strides with “don’t ask don’t tell”, coming out day/ month, LGBT history month and anti-bullying campaigns.  i am pretty freakin’ excited for us these days.  i must admit i’m very disappointment in myself for forgetting to wear purple today but alas, my alliance should speak for itself.

on a personal note, how interesting that i, the out and proud lesbian mom of a super fantastic kid, get a call from the school on monday regarding bullying.  of course, i’d been on top of this issue.  the kid and i had frequent talks about gay slurs, acceptance, loving all mankind, “that’s so gay” (kids’ favie saying these days), the benefits of having two moms (well, one right now… but you know what i mean) and yada, yada, yada.  i would ask the kid about what’s going on at school.  do kids ever tease each other (i remember this age vividly)?  are kids talking about sex?  has any made him feel uncomfortable?  i give constant reassurance and self esteem boosters.  “you’re sooooo smart!”  “do you know how incredible you are?”  “OMG!  you are super handsome and spectacular!”  seriously, it gets laid on thick.  and it’s largely because i was 9 years old once.  and this was precisely the time when kids began the teasing and the attempts to make me believe i was “lame”, nerdy and hideous.  i eventually gave in and it tooks years (decades) to recover.  i’m a firm believer that once the self esteem is lowered, it is forever fragile even after being built back up.

all that to say… MY kid was the damned bully!!!  well, it was him and two other boys ganging up to tease one kid.  they called him gay because he wears his shorts really short.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME??  and i understand everyone wants to be accepted.  and kids are especially concerned at this age with belonging to a group.  but seriously, ARE YOU KIDDING ME??  my kids shorts, shirts and every other part of that ridiculously expensive uniform is short, tight, old, etc.  maybe it was a “get them before they get me” thing.  or, as a close friend suggested, a disconnect between lesbian, which he understands well and gay men, which he hasn’t been properly exposed to.  either way, the schools are NOT playing with this issue any longer.  and i don’t think it’s so much a big concern about the kids and their esteem.  but rather, a concern with their jobs and their schools’ accreditation.

so, the kid and i have had extensive talks and endless lectures.  there is a grounding in place, restriction on all things fun, a super tight regime of tooth-brushing, lunch packing, tv off while you eat dinner, to bed early…-ness.

my sister suggested that he write papers on great leaders throughout history, characteristics of a leader and the value of moral standards.  and of course, i think that is a spectacular notion.

raising a kid is no game!  it’s scary business.  so ladies, if your eggs have remained unfertilized, keep it that way!  don’t get me wrong.  best decision, no regrets, precious gifts from God and so forth…  but, i’m done!  statistically, if i had more than one, someone’s bound to be a serial killer, high school drop-out or republican.  and sheesh, could you imagine the headlines?!  kid of lesbian bullies gay kid.  it just doesn’t work…

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Still?!

why is alicia keys STILL preggers?  is it just me or does it seem like she’s been “with child” FOREVER?