The Happs… Honestly

Long time no write, I know…

Well, things have still being going pretty smoothly and nothing too monumental has taken place.  I am loving my new space both physically and mentally.  I am still employed and still a lifelong student.  I’m still on a quest to learn old lessons.

As far as employment, I wonder why I get so easily disinterested.  Is it the Gemini in me who needs to be “fulfilled” and can a job ever truly encourage fulfillment?  I have no idea but perpetually seem to be searching for the answer.  What I do know is that knowing it is possible to have fun at work sometimes feels like a curse.  Because I’ve always felt driven by a philanthropic spirit, I don’t think I’ll truly be satisfied with employment outside of the non-profit sector.  And specifically, I’d like to be working with young women.  I’m sure that my experiences have prepared me to make a positive difference in the lives of “at-risk” girls.  I have applied for two positions that I feel would hold my interest in dealing with my divinely-assigned target population.  I am crossing my fingers.

And as far as love, I would like to hereby proclaim acknowledgement of this as my area with the most opportunity for improvement.  I have an old-fashioned, feminine notion that relationship is the background and foundation for all else in my life.  Now, whether I need to abandon this believe altogether, I am unsure.  However, I will stop pretending to be unaware of the biggest lesson and experience of my past needing to be resolved.  My persistent infatuation and obsession with a “friend” of six years needs to cease and desist!  I have come to the point of accepting my need for rehab, as my bff calls it, to recover from that love-crack and the damage it’s caused me.  The thing is, I’ve previously recognized a need to get over this obsession.  And just like the crack that she is, the hold would become stronger as soon as I tried to abstain.  And others have come and gone in her midst. 

Altogether, the situation is complicated… material for an entirely separate blog. 

But the best news is that I have met someone new.  This “hopeful” feeling is familiar.  But the absence of a lingering, bothersome fiending for another makes it all so different.  Additionally, she’s pretty terrific.  Wrong as it may be, I’ve always felt that it would take someone better in order for me to get over someone pretty great.  So my obsession is great in so many ways, but the new chick is better for me.  If for no other reason, she likes me back!  Two weeks in, Honey seems to be a really good catch.  She has held a respectable career for several years, she’s family oriented, and is exciting; rides a motorcycle, travels, the whole nine.  To top it off, she’s incredibly attractive and sexy.  So yeah… I’m excited, again.  We shall see.